Receiving a thoughtful Valentine’s gift creates a problem nobody talks about.
Your partner hands you something genuinely considered — a piece of jewellery, a planned experience, something that shows they’ve paid attention. And suddenly your backup box of chocolates feels inadequate.
This isn’t about matching spend for spend. It’s about matching thought for thought. The gift you give back should feel like you understood what they were trying to say with theirs.
Here’s how to respond to different types of Valentine’s gifts with something equally meaningful — and what each approach actually costs.
Budget Quick Reference
| They Gave | They Likely Spent | Your Response Range |
| Supermarket flowers | £10-15 | £10-20 |
| Florist bouquet | £25-50 | £20-40 |
| High street jewellery | £40-120 | £40-100 |
| Designer jewellery | £100-300 | £80-200 |
| Cinema + dinner | £50-80 | £30-50 |
| Spa day/concert | £150-300 | £80-150 |
| Designer fragrance | £60-150 | £50-100 |
| Tech accessory | £30-80 | £30-80 |
| Tech device | £100-300 | £80-200 |
| Handmade item | £5-20 (+ hours) | Time, not money |
| Book | £8-25 | £15-50 |
When You Receive Flowers: Give Time
Flowers are classic for a reason. Beautiful, temporary, romantic. But they’re also relatively easy to choose, which means your partner might be testing the waters rather than making a grand statement.
What they likely spent: £25-50 from a proper florist. Supermarket bunches run £10-15. Luxury arrangements from Bloom & Wild or Freddie’s Flowers push £45-80.
Give back option 1: A planned experience
Book a weekend morning at a café neither of you has tried. Plan an evening walk somewhere you’ve talked about visiting. Cook a meal together rather than ordering in.
Cost: £15-30 for a nice breakfast out, or under £20 for a home-cooked meal with decent ingredients.
Give back option 2: A plant that lasts
If they gave you cut flowers, give them something that grows. A quality houseplant from Patch Plants runs £20-45. An olive tree or fig tree from a garden centre costs £25-50. The message: their gesture inspired something permanent.
The reciprocal logic: flowers are about presence, not permanence. Respond with shared moments or living things.
When You Receive Jewellery: Give Jewellery Back
Jewellery says something specific. It’s wearable, visible, and chosen with your appearance and taste in mind. Your partner looked at options and picked something they thought would suit you.
What they likely spent: UK Valentine’s jewellery averages £50-150 for meaningful pieces. High street (H&Samuel, Ernest Jones) sits £40-120. Independent jewellers push £80-300+.
Give back option 1: Something they can wear daily
A watch strap if they already have a watch they love (£25-60 for quality leather). Cufflinks if they wear shirts (£30-80 for decent pairs). A signet ring or band (£50-150 depending on material).
For partners with specific interests or affiliations, jewellery can carry additional meaning. Someone with Masonic connections might appreciate Masonic costume rings that reflect their fraternal involvement — symbols they recognise and value. Prices range £30-100 depending on design and finish.
Give back option 2: A jewellery box or storage
If they’ve given you jewellery, give them somewhere proper to keep theirs. Stackers boxes run £25-50. Leather travel cases cost £30-60. Wolf designs push £80-150.
Budget matching: don’t respond to a necklace with a novelty keyring. Stay within the same tier.
When You Receive an Experience: Extend It
Concert tickets. A spa day. A restaurant reservation. Theatre seats. These gifts prioritise time together over ownership.
What they likely spent: Cinema plus dinner: £50-80. Spa day for two: £150-300. Theatre tickets: £60-200. Concert tickets: £80-250+.
Give back option 1: The next chapter
If they’ve booked dinner, you book drinks beforehand or dessert elsewhere after (add £20-40). If they’ve planned a day trip, you plan the overnight stay (£80-150 for a decent B&B). If they’ve bought theatre tickets, arrange the pre-show meal (£40-70).
Don’t compete with the experience — complete it.
Give back option 2: Document it
Buy a Polaroid camera (Instax Mini runs £70-90) and capture the experience. Or book a photographer for part of the day (£50-100 for a mini session). Create the memory of what they planned.
When You Receive Perfume or Cologne: Go Sensory
Fragrance is intimate. Your partner chose something they want to smell on you, which means they’re thinking about closeness.
What they likely spent: Designer fragrance runs £60-120 for 50ml. Niche brands (Le Labo, Byredo) push £150-250. High street options sit £30-60.
Give back option 1: Something for the home
A quality candle they’ll associate with you. Diptyque runs £50-65. Jo Malone £55-65. British brands like Earl of East cost £22-35. Evermore candles sit around £32-42.
Give back option 2: Touch-focused
Luxury bedding if yours needs replacing. Piglet in Bed linen sheets run £90-150. The White Company cotton sets cost £60-120. A weighted blanket (£60-100) or quality throw (£40-80).
When You Receive Tech: Upgrade Their Daily Routine
Gadgets as Valentine’s gifts aren’t unromantic — they’re practical-minded. Your partner saw something that would improve your day and bought it.
What they likely spent: Accessories run £20-50. Earbuds cost £80-250. Smart home devices sit £50-150.
Give back option 1: Complement their existing tech
Wireless earbuds if they commute (Sony, Jabra, Samsung: £80-180). A quality phone stand if they video call (£25-50). A sunrise alarm clock if they struggle with mornings (Lumie: £50-100).
Give back option 2: Reduce their screen time
A Kindle Paperwhite (£130-150) for reading without blue light. A record player and a few albums (£80-150 for a starter setup). A puzzle subscription or board game (£30-60).
When You Receive Something Handmade: Make Something Back
Gifts that are made by hand are made of time. Making a scrapbook, a scarf, or a jar of notes takes hours of work that can’t be sped up with money.
What they spent: Usually very little money (£5–20 on tools), but a lot of time.
Return choice 1: words
Send them a message. Not a text, but a real letter. More than one page. Spend £3 to £8 on good paper and an envelope. The work isn’t worth the small cost.
Choice 2: Food made from scratch comes back.
You didn’t know the recipe for their best meal, so you had to learn it. For a good dinner, spend £20 to £40 on the best ingredients you can find. The point is to mess up.
When You Receive Books: Give Words Back
A book as a gift means your partner thinks about your mind, not just your appearance.
What they likely spent: Paperbacks run £8-12. Hardbacks £16-25. Special editions push £30-60.
Give back option 1: A book you’ve loved
Not something random — something you’ve read and want them to experience. Write an inscription explaining why. Total cost: £8-25 plus genuine thought.
Give back option 2: Ongoing words
A subscription to something they’d enjoy. The New Yorker: £100/year. Literary magazines run £30-60 annually.
The Underlying Principle
Reciprocity is not score-keeping. It is listening.
The gift from your partner tells you something: what they value, how they show love, what they think your tastes are. Your response must acknowledge the signal thus received.
Match thoughtfulness with thoughtfulness; effort with more than reciprocal effort. The budget should sit in the same neighborhood–not an international one, but not jarring, either.
Their present is information, so take heed.
